Tales From the Crypt: The Complete First Season DVD Review

Written by Steve " This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it " Pattee

DVD released by Warner

Episodes directed by Walter Hill, Robert Zemeckis, Richard Donner, Howard Deutch, Tom Holland and Mary Lambert

Episodes written by Robert Reneau, Fred Dekker, Terry Black, Michael McDowell, A. Whitney Brown, Battle Davis and Randolph Davis

1989, R1 (NTSC), 168 minutes, Not rated

DVD released on July 12th, 2005

Starring:

John Kassir

William Sadler 

Mary Ellen Trainor

Larry Drake

Lindsey Whitney Barry

Joe Pantoliano

Robert Wuhl

Lea Thompson

Amanda Plummer

Stephen Shellen

M. Emmet Walsh

Audra Lindley

Movie:

From 1989-1996, HBO ran a horror-themed series called "Tales From the Crypt."  Hosted by the Crypt Keeper (voiced by John Kassir – Demon Knight, Bordello of Blood), each week was another glorious episode of blood, boobs, horror, comedy and revenge.  This is the first season. 

William Sadler (Demon Knight, The Shawshank Redemption) stars in the DVD’s opener, “The Man Who Was Death,” as a state executioner who loses his job when the state abolishes the death penalty.  Well, he doesn’t actually lose his job, as he continues to execute the guilty on his own time.  Using different methods of electrocution, Sadler continues to take care of business.  But what happens when the state reinstates the death penalty?  Written by Walter Hill and Robert Reneau and directed by Walter Hill (Southern Comfort, Supernova).

Robert Zemeckis (What Lies Beneath, Contact) directs “And All Through the House,” a Christmas tale that involves a murdering wife (Mary Ellen Trainor – Lethal Weapon I – IV, Die Hard), an escapee (Larry Drake – Dr. Giggles, TV’s “LA Law”) from the local insane asylum (wearing a Santa suit and toting an axe) and a trusting child (Lindsey Whitney Barry).  Christmas won’t ever be the same again at this house.  Written by Fred Dekker (writer and director of Night of the Creeps).

“Dig That Cat … He’s Real Gone” stars Joe Pantoliano (TV’s “The Sopranos,” Bad Boys) as a man who, after a questionable operation involving the feline gland, seemingly cannot die.  He hits the circus tour circuit, making quite a bit of money and, when he gets a little too greedy, he gets his due. Written by Terry Black and directed by Richard Donner (Lethal Weapon, The Omen). 

In “Only Sin Deep,” Lea Thompson (Back to the Future I – III, Howard the Duck) is a hard-nosed prostitute who makes a bad deal with a pawn shop owner.  When she realizes her mistake, she finds she’s a day late to make things right.  But the owner offers her another deal, and the question becomes whether or not she can close it in time.  Written by Dekker and directed by Howard Deutch (The Replacements, Pretty in Pink).

“Lover Come Hack to Me” stars Amanda Plummer (Pulp Fiction, The Prophecy) and Stephen Shellen (TV’s “La Femme Nikita”) as newlyweds who find refuge in a seemingly abandoned house on a rainy night.  Nothing good ever comes out of these scenarios.  Written by Michael McDowell and directed by Tom Holland (Child's Play, Fright Night). 

“Collection Completed” with M. Emmet Walsh (Snow Dogs, The Iron Giant) and Audra Lindley (TV’s “Three’s Company”) is a fun tale, surrounding a man who has finally retired after almost 50 years, and his wife, who has more than her share of animals.  Lindley doesn’t seem too pleased when Walsh shares his new hobby with her — taxidermy.  Written by A. Whitney Brown, Battle Davis and Randolph Davis and directed by Mary Lambert (Pet Sematary, Urban Legends: Bloody Mary).

Review:

When I first got my greedy claws on Crypt, a thought hit me:  What if it wasn't as good as I remembered?  I loved "The Greatest American Hero" growing up, but man, that did not hold up at all.  "21 Jump Street," another favorite from my childhood, held up somewhat, but I never realized how preachy it was.  "Miami Vice," on the other hand, held up amazingly well — pastel muscle shirts and all. 

However, my fears were immediately put at ease by the first episode, "The Man Who Was Death."  With a terrific performance by William Sadler and an awesome soundtrack by Ry Cooder, it was easily my favorite episode of the bunch.

Zemeckis' comic-book-style and flair, and Larry Drake's creepy performance as a deranged Santa in "And All Through the House," made it a close second on my favorites.  This episode had a little more blood than the rest and seemed to be the darkest.

"Dig That Cat...He's Real Gone's" story was mediocre, but Joe Pantoliano's performance, coupled with co-star Robert Wuhl, elevated it to an enjoyable tale about a man who gets exactly what's coming to him.

"Only Sin Deep," while an interesting story, bordered on abysmal because of Lea Thompson's performance.  She was wooden and her "tough girl" accent was horrible — an all-around flat performance.

Like "Gone," "Lover Come Hack To Me" is another mediocre story that, at times, comes dangerously close to dragging.  However, Amanda Plummer saves this short tale from becoming boring with her usual outstanding and quirky performance.  Plummer absolutely carries this episode and only she makes it worth watching.

"Collection Completed" is a nice finale' for season one, as it not only has a humorous, albeit quickly uncomfortable, story, the synergy between M. Emmet Walsh and Audra Lindley is rock solid.  These two are an absolute pleasure to watch work together and they play off each other extremely well.

With the exception of Thompson, "Crypt"'s first season is dominated by powerful performances, making each show stand out more than it necessarily should.  And while "Death" and "House" are, hands down, my favorites of the season, each episode has something to offer.  Sometimes, TV seasons don't get the ball rolling until after their first season, but, even with the mediocre stories, "Crypt" hits the door running.

Video and Audio:

For being more than 10 years old, "Crypt"'s 4:3 picture, while soft, looks good.  There is the occasional sign of grain, but the picture is more than satisfactory, considering not just its age, but it’s a TV show.

The Dolby Digital 2.0 surround sounds great, with no audible pops or hisses.  The music never overtakes the dialogue and the disc is crisp and clean sounding.

English, French and Spanish subtitles are also offered.

Special Features:

While two special features are available, only the Tales From the Crypt: From Comic Books to Television documentary is worth watching.  Clocking in at just under an hour, this documentary packs one heck of a punch.  Barely mentioning the show at all, the documentary covers the history of E.C. Comics and its founder, William Gaines.  This is a must watch, as it is a fascinating look into the start of the horror comic genre and the problems it faced with the government and includes brief interviews from the masters themselves, Romero and Carpenter.  First names not needed.  

The other special feature, "Crypt Keeper's History of Season One" is not worth even a glance.  More fluff than a marshmallow.

Grades:

Movie:
Video:
Audio:
Features:
Overall:	– The documentary, performances and $26.98 MSRP makes this purchase a no-brainer.

Conclusion:

"Tales From the Crypt: The Complete First Season" is flawed, yes, but the solid cast helps you overlook its minor problems. 

(Equipment includes a Mitsubishi WS-48613 48” HDTV, OPPO DV-970HD DVD player and Onkyo HTS-770 Home Theater System and, in some cases, a Sony 27” WEGA TV and a Sony DVP-NS50P DVD player.)

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Tetsuo: The Iron Man DVD Review

Written by Daniel Hirshleifer

Written and directed by Shinya Tsukamoto
1989, Region 1 (NTSC), 67 minutes, Not rated
DVD released on July 12th, 2005

Starring:
Tomoroh Taguchi as Salaryman
Kei Fujiwara as Woman
Nobu Kanaoka as Woman On Train
Renji Ishibashi as Tramp
Naomasa Musaka as Doctor
Shinya Tsukamoto as Metal Fetishist

Review:

“There’s a piece of metal in your brain. You will die if we remove it. Think of it as jewelry.” -Doctor

A man enters a room full of metal parts. He strips off his clothes and digs a knife deep into his leg. He slides a metal tube through his teeth, and then begins to painfully insert the tube into the gash he has made. Slowly, carefully, tenderly, the man wraps the wound up.

His hand snaps back and he screams as he sees maggots crawling all over his flesh.

The man runs wildly through the streets of Japan, without a destination, running for help. He clutches his leg as blood drips from it, forming a trail that follows his panicked run.

A car comes speeding down a tunnel and collides with the man head-on.

Another time, another place. A salaryman stands in front of his mirror, shaving. He idly rubs the electric razor across his face, but pauses as he notices a small blade stuck in his cheek. He tries to pull it out and blood spews from the wound, covering the mirror like pus from an overripe zit.

Thus begins Shinya Tsukamoto’s debut feature, Tetsuo: The Iron Man. Made on the cheap in 1988, the film has gone on to become one of the touchstones of modern Japanese cinema.

On the surface, the film appears to be nothing more than a revenge story, and a poor one, at that. But digging beneath the surface, the film makes some very interesting statements about guilt, alienation in modern society, and fetishism. But is the picture entirely successful?

The answer to that is, unfortunately, no. Like so many early directorial efforts, the film is too dependent on the director’s influences. The film looks like Eraserhead, feels like Videodrome, and steals from both Jan Svankmeyer and H.R. Giger. As previously mentioned, the basic plot is thin and poorly developed. Often, the film feels like nothing more than an extended music video. And plenty of absolutely fascinating ideas and techniques show up in the first half, and then are seemingly abandoned in the second.

And yet, this film is one of the most lauded films in all of Japanese cinema. Tetsuo: The Iron Man has taken on almost mythical quality, especially outside of Japan, where it hasn’t been readily available. Why would this be? Why would a film with so many faults come to be loved by so many?

The reason is that despite all of its faults, all of its cinematic debts, the film is still shockingly, desperately original. Thematically, the film is significantly stronger than a cursory look at the plot might reveal. If the salaryman’s plight is imagined, dreamed, or hallucinated, the rules of conventional plotting fall away, allowing the film a leeway that a more realistic film would not have. And on a purely stylistic level, the film has several facets that mark it as entirely separate from the films that spawned it.

First is the camera work. From the first shot, the camera careens around, not always keeping the subject in view. The camera frequently spins around, turning upside down, bouncing every which way it can. This makes the viewer highly disoriented, as much or more as the salaryman, who cannot fathom what is happening to him. Furthermore, the events of the story careen just as wildly, moving from an apartment to a train station to a parking garage with very little rhyme or reason. An air of oppression hangs over the film. The audience can never find firm footing. They’re not passive observers so much as silent participants in the film’s events.

Secondly, we have the sound mix. Even more so than Eraserhead, the sound here is a character in the film. Most obvious is a scene where the salaryman feeds his girlfriend a meal, but instead of hearing the normal sounds of crunching and swallowing, we hear metallic scrapes and grinding noises. And underneath it all, the salaryman’s increasingly panicked breathing. The sound envelops the viewer, taking them out of normal reality, placing them firmly in the world of the film. And the score, percussive and dissonant, creates a soundscape for this world to exist in. It’s one of the most distinctive and successful aspects of the movie.

Finally, we have Tsukamoto’s vision of metal and man merging. The Iron Man is the salaryman, the man hit by the car, and eventually, the whole world. While David Cronenberg has long explored the themes of metamorphosis and modern technology blending with humanity organically, Tsukamoto takes it one step further. The Japan depicted in Tetsuo is full of metal tubing, wire, and other metallic paraphernalia. At one point in the film, we see a vision of the future, where mankind is eaten away by a living metal hybrid, and the solar system itself is made of metal. Tsukamoto himself plays a character entitled “Metal Fetishist,” but it stands to reason that Tsukamoto as a director, not just a character, is acting as the metal fetishist. Take the scene quoted at the top of this review. A doctor speaks to Tsukamoto’s character (this is shown as a memory, projected onto a TV). He doesn’t seem concerned that this man has a piece of metal jutting out of his head. In fact, he seems excited (with perhaps just a little dread). He asks, “What kind of mad genius did that?” Tsukamoto gladly embraces the role of mad genius, imbuing the film with the same excitement (and dread) that the doctor feels.

Whether or not the film was entirely successful, the impact of the film is undeniable. Tsukamoto is an obvious influence on Takashi Miike, even appearing in Miike’s Ichi The Killer. His work can be seen influencing directors such as Hideo Nakata (director of The Ring and Dark Water) and Kiyoshi Kurosawa (director of Cure and Kairo), as well as American directors such as Darren Aronofsky (Pi and Requiem For A Dream) to Chris Cunningham (director of music videos for artists such as Aphex Twin, Squarepusher, and Bjork). In the end, Tetsuo: The Iron Man does overcome its faults. Even if it’s not entirely successful in everything it attempts, it leaves indelible images in the mind of the viewer, and makes the audience think. Tetsuo is less a film in the conventional sense, and more an experience. Good or bad, it’s one worth having.

Video and Audio:

This is easily the best I have ever seen Tetsuo: The Iron Man look. That being said, the film was shot on cheap, 16mm black and white film. It will never look polished or clean. But for what it is, this DVD transfer is excellent. The blacks are deep and true, and there’s no dust on the print. The film handles dark scenes and blown out scenes with equal aplomb. And the stop-motion animation looks fantastic. Just keep in mind while watching the film that if it looks grainy, dirty, and poorly shot, it’s supposed to look that way.

Tartan has provided three mixes, a stereo mix (listed as “Dual Mono” on the box), a Dolby Digital 5.1 mix, and a DTS 5.1 mix. The only difference between the stereo and surround mixes is that the score appears on the surrounds in the 5.1 mixes. There is no directionality to the sound mix, it’s essentially a stereo mix with a surround score. Of the three, the DTS sounds the best. It’s the clearest, letting you hear the subtleties that went into the sound design. The Dolby Digital mix is noticeably muddier, and the stereo mix is muddier still. The disc does not contain the film’s original true mono mix.

Special Features:

While not barebones, the disc does not take advantage of Tetsuo’s legendary status. We get brief film notes by Justin Bowyer, a filmography for Tsukamoto, Nobu Kanaoka, and Tomoroh Taguchi, and several trailers for Tsukamoto’s other films, including his latest, Vital. One thing to note about these trailers is that they’re not theatrical trailers. Rather, they’re three to four minutes of the film in question, with a “Coming Soon” card placed at the end. An interesting alternative to showing the conventional theatrical trailers. The Tsukamoto interview listed in the press release appears nowhere on the disc (taking advantage of the “Special Features are subject to change" clause in the release). The opportunity to give this influential and important film the full-fledged special edition it deserves was not taken with this disc. Hopefully Tartan will revisit it in the near future.

Grades:

Film style: A (Despite its obvious influences, it is still highly original)
Film Content: A- (Themes)/B- (Plot)
Picture: A (Best the film has looked, but it’s still a low-budget film, and it shows)
Sound: B (It could have used a more integrated surround mix)
Extras: D+

Conclusion:

If you’re a fan of modern Japanese cinema, or adventurous, experimental cinema in general, then Tetsuo: The Iron Man is a must-see. You may love it, you may hate it, but you need to see it. And this is the way to watch it. High quality picture and sound make this the definitive Tetsuo viewing experience. An unfortunate dearth of extras mean that this disc may be more worthwhile as a rental than a purchase for newcomers to the film. For Tsukamoto fans, you can finally retire your Image disc in favor of this one.

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Dead Meat DVD Review

Written by Neon Maniac

DVD released by Hart Sharp Video

Written and Directed  by  Conor McMahon
2004, Region 1 (NTSC), , 80 minutes, Rated R

DVD released on June 14th, 2005

Starring:

Marian Araujo
Anthony Litton 
David Mallard       
Ivan McCullough       
David Ryan
Eoin Whelan

Movie:

An outbreak of Mad Cow disease mutates into a new virus that causes infected humans to become flesh eating zombies! 

The lovely Helena and her fiancé are on a driving tour of the Irish countryside when the outbreak hits.  After accidentally running over a zombie staggering down the middle of the road, her fiancé succumbs to the disease and joins forces with the living dead.  Now, completely alone in a foreign country infested with mad cows and killer zombies; Helena wanders from farm to farm. She's looking for a phone to call the police on.  She only finds zombies

Eventually, Helena joins up with the local gravedigger, the local youth coach, his wife, and a mysterious little girl with a mouth that would make a sailor blush.  Together, they try  to escape the infected area in the coach's SUV.  Instead, they run into obstacle after obstacle, and eventually —  lots and lots of zombies. 

Review:

Video and Audio:

Presented in a 1.85:1 anamorphic aspect ratio, the picture is very film like.  This was another surprise, as picture quality can vary greatly with independent features.  The picture is nice and detailed, has an appropriate amount of grain, and  doesn't exhibit any macroblocking in even the darkest of scenes.  Overall, this DVD looked better than a quite a few of the big budget Hollywood DVDs that have come out recently. 

With no audio type listed on the back cover, it was a pleasant surprise to see the soundtrack  register as  DD 5.1 on the audio receiver.  A lot of low budget or indie features are mono, or at best Dolby 2.0.  The DD 5.1 was done well, and made good use of the surrounds during tense scenes.  The audio was clear and easy to understand., although a bit low at times.  Do not be afraid to use your volume control when needed.

Special Features:

Special Features include a making of documentary, appropriately titled "Mad Cows and Zombies"; a trailer for the film; and  a short film, Braineater by  writer/director Conor McMahon.  Braineater is an interesting addition to the DVD and is worth a watch.  The documentary is standard behind the scenes fare, but it is definitely worth spending the few minutes it takes to watch it.  There is also a DVD-ROM bonus feature of an article written about the film.

Grades:
Movie:
Video:
Audio:
Features:
Overall:

(Neon's Movie Lounge contains a  Zenith  42" Plasma EDTV, Oppo DV971H DVD player using a DVI connection, JVC 5.1 DD/DTS receiver and JBL Northridge E Series speakers.)

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Don't Look in the Attic Movie Review

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DVD released by Midnight Pictures

Directed by Andrew Harrison

Based on the short story "Trapdoor" by Ray Bradbury

32 Minutes, Not rated

Samantha Herron as Claire
Liz Redpath as Emma
Harry Harril as Pest Control guy #1
Darryl Sloan as Pest Control guy #2
Margaret Burke as Claire's Mother

Movie:

Claire (Samantha Herron) lives a comfortable life, albeit alone. She has a nice house and a new car, but lately she has been kept awake at night by noises in the attic.

Assuming she has a rodent problem, she calls her local pest control company to rectify the situation. When the pest control guy (Harry Harril) turns up, he's a little drunk and very arrogant so she decides to go out for a short while and leave him to it. On her return, there's no sign of him but his van is still parked outside. Assuming he's finished the job and left for the pub, she calls the company back to retrieve their van.

As she settles down in bed for the night, she hears the familiar distracting noise from the attic again. Annoyed with the constant broken sleep, she decides to investigate.

It's not a good idea. As the title of the movie says; Don't Look in the Attic...

Review:

A few weeks ago, Irish low budget filmmaker, Andrew Harrison, sent me a bunch of discs from the small production company he runs with his longtime friend Darryl Sloan. Work commitments had kept me from viewing all but one of the movies, but when a VHS tape of their latest production dropped through my letterbox, it prompted me into some action.

So, what we have is a spooky little short movie based on the similarly short story by Ray Bradbury ("The Martian Chronicles", "Farenheit 451"). In Bradbury's original story, a woman discovers a mysterious trapdoor in the house in which she has lived for years. Replacing the trapdoor from Bradbury's story with the loft hatch of a young woman's modern home, the filmmakers have pulled the setting out from a spooky old house scenario and dropped it straight into suburbia.

The movie is very atmospheric, and the feeling of foreboding by the viewer is quite pronounced. You know that Claire's problem isn't related to rodents and you almost want to grab her and tell her to get out of the house before 'it' gets her. Of course, in movie-land, no amount of shouting at the screen can influence the characters away from their certain doom.

Samantha Herron plays a solid enough performance to make her character believable, as do the supporting cast. What is quite remarkable about the film is the fact there was almost no need for special effects, save for one particular scene where only the creature's hands are seen.

Overall, a nice little short which never drags. Don't Look in the Attic shows how much tension can be created when the right story is tied nicely together with a good script and tight editing. I'll be looking forward to viewing the other Midnight Pictures releases.

Video, Audio and Special Features:

Picture, Sound and Extra Features are not rated as this was a VHS screener only. Normally, Midnight pictures put out feature packed discs which are extremely impressive for such a small company. The movie was shot in 1.85:1 (16:9) Aspect ratio, and the tape includes some outtakes after the end credits as well as the Midnight Pictures showcase trailer at the beginning.

Grades:
Movie:
Video:	n/a
Audio:	n/a
Features:	n/a
Overall:

You can purchase other Midnight Pictures releases only through their website. The discs come loaded with extras and weigh in at the very reasonable price of £7.50.

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Hide and Creep DVD Review

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DVD released by The Asylum

Directed by Chuck Hartsell and Chance Shirley

Written by Chance Shirley

2004, Region 1 (NTSC), 85 minutes, Not rated

Starring:

Barry Austin as Reverend Smith

Melissa Bush as Barbara

Chris Garrison as Ted

Chris Hartsell as Chris

Chuck Hartsell as Chuck

Kyle Holman as Keith

Michael Shelton as Michael and Lee

John Walker as Agent F

Movie:

At Chuck's Super Video Store, Chuck has noticed quite the run on zombie movies.   And, coincidentally, later that same day, he happens to kill what appears to be a zombie.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the forest, Michael awakens high atop a tree missing three things:  his clothes, his car and his woman.  He has a suspicion he was abducted and, although his girlfriend is still missing, he must find his car:  A sweet ’64½ Mustang.

Elsewhere, members of the "Thorsby Gun Club" run into undead problems of their own while investigating why their satellite dish went out.

And, at the local church, the reverend is not giving a sermon to the Lord's followers, but fighting for his life — and limbs.

To make matters worse, the sheriff is out of town and the deputy is nowhere to be found.

Just another day in the town of Thorsby, Alabama — “Home of the 1A State Powerlifting Champions 2001, 2002.”

Review:

Horror comedies are a tough genre to crack, because they rarely succeed.  Sure, there are popular films such as Army of Darkness, but even that was simply a cult classic, not a blockbuster.  It's as if studios are afraid to take a chance on horror comedies because of their historical failure at the box office.

Recent movies, however, might change that stigma.  While not necessarily a full-blown comedy, Bubba Ho-tep did surprisingly well on the art-house circuit.  Anchor Bay Entertainment announced it is getting into the game with its limited release of Dead and Breakfast in early 2005.  And most recently, Shaun of the Dead was a huge hit overseas and made quite the mark among horror fans here in the States. 

With Shaun’s recent success, it's only a matter of time before Hollywood bigwigs saturate the market with rip-offs in an effort to capitalize on the revitalized horror boom.  But, will they be intelligent comedies?  Will they manage to be original, even if the concept is not?  And, most importantly, will they have lesbian zombies?  The answers to all is “no.”

But, every Hollywood “no” becomes a resounding, booming YES in the case of indie Hide and Creep.

Let's be honest, zombies taking over is not a new idea.  And neither is the comedic aspect of it.  As mentioned above, it has been tried before, but with limited success.  Horror fan favorite Evil Dead 2 was borderline slapstick, but, to be fair, they weren't zombies in Evil Dead.  They were, as Chuck (Chuck Hartsell) tells an uneducated customer, "...Candarian demons that posses the living."  Which brings me to Hide and Creep.

Sure, the concept is not original, but the writer, Chance Shirley, has crafted a laugh-out-loud script that is not only smart, but subtle.  This is a movie that is even funnier the third time around — because of the jokes that were missed the first two viewings.  Fans of Kevin Smith's Clerks will absolutely love this film because of Shirley's similar writing style.  He has a knack for taking the everyday situation and turning it into comedic gold.  A perfect example of this is when Chuck goes to the local diner for breakfast — after nonchalantly dropping a body off at the sheriff's office — and orders a Coke to go with his meal.  When asked if Pepsi is okay, Chris goes into a diatribe on why Pepsi is not okay, and leaves to buy a Coke while his breakfast is being prepared. 

But comparing Shirley to Smith is not fair.  With Clerks, Smith took an idea that was very original at the time — a day in the life of two low-level retail employees — and it became an instant cult classic because, at one point or another, everyone has worked at least one retail job.  In Shirley's case, the idea of zombies attacking has been done too many times to count, horror comedies have historically failed and not too many people have been in a situation where they have to protect themselves from the walking dead.  But, even with the odds against him, he still managed to write a script with characters the audience can actually relate to.  Chuck, the main character, is put into a position of fighting zombies, and he obviously doesn't want to be there.  Not because the fear of death, but because he has other things to do.  More important things.  Like watching football.  And as idiotic as that may sound, it's believable.  Shirley's script is that good. 

However, a great script doesn't always make a good movie if the talent is not good enough to deliver the lines.  But, in Creep's case, every actor, from the lead, Chuck Hartsell, all the way down to the man returning a defective DVD to the video store because of its "black lines at the top and bottom," was well, well above the bar for the usual low-budget fodder.  And as good as the acting is in Creep, there are three standouts.

The first is Kyle Holman as Keith, the man's man in charge of the Thorsby Gun Club.  At first glance, you immediately have to laugh at Keith's character because, for all intents and purposes, he looks — and acts — like a knucklehead.  But Holman's performance brings depth to what could be a cookie-cutter character with his ability to act like a gun-toting, kill-them-all-and-let-God-sort-them-out hillbilly one minute and loving and caring father the next.  Even if the caring part is making sure his daughter knows where, exactly, she must shoot someone in order to bring them down.  Permanently.

The next standout, Michael Shelton, played two roles, Michael (the naked, girlfriendless and careless tree-man and Lee, the complementary redneck sidekick to Holman's Keith.   What's impressive about Shelton is not the fact that he played two roles.  It is that he played them so completely different from each other.  As Michael, he was clueless and annoying, spending much of the movie pining over his missing car and as Lee, while he didn't say much, he did have a way of humorously stating the obvious.  Granted, he was working with a script, but his delivery was spot on.

But the biggest standout of Creep is Chuck Hartsell, as Chuck, video store owner and all-around everyman.  Chuck (the character) is just a man who just wants to live his life stress free, and the zombies are definitely affecting his day-to-day activities.  Hartsell, who co-directed Creep with Shirley, delivers every line flawlessly and with perfect timing.   He is a natural to both the role and the camera, and the movie would not have been the same without him. 

While Creep doesn't have ample gore, it does have shuffling zombies for you traditionalists out there.   There are two very good bloody scenes, one in particular that made me squirm physically, but what it doesn't have in gore, it makes up for in two words:

Lesbian zombies.

That's right.  Lesbian zombies.  Girl on girl lovin'.

Granted, the lesbian zombie scene is exactly that, one scene.  But it sticks out in my mind as why Hide and Creep is so good.  I have always been a stickler for nude scenes in movies.  I am a huge fan of nudity.  The more, the better.  But I demand it be done well.   And this is probably one of the best nude scenes I have seen in a while — not because the women were attractive (which they were), but because the scene itself was so fitting to both the movie and the characters involved.  And what made it better was none of the obvious jokes regarding lesbian zombies was told — you’ll have to provide them yourself.  Fortunately, the scene was not used in the trailer because, taken out of context, it's not nearly as funny — or brilliant.

Comedy and horror are tough to mix, but Hartsell and Shirley have made quite a recipe for hilarity.  They have taken a story that has the most basic of horror premises and crafted a must watch for horror fans and comedy fans alike.

Video and Audio:

Creep’s widescreen presentation is a tad soft on my big screen, but not enough to be the least bit distracting.  What’s great about Creep is it was filmed entirely in 16MM, so it doesn’t have the “digital” look.  Sometimes, watching a low- or no-budget movie shot on film is a blessing.

2.0 stereo is also available.

Special Features:

First, the commentary with Shirley and Hartsell is well worth the listen.  The two provide a lot of interesting tidbits, such as what the movie’s relationship is to Plan 9 From Outer Space to why one of the actors had to make a cross for the church scenes.  While there are a few moments of silence towards the end, it’s easily forgivable as it is their first of hopefully many commentaries.

A short film, “Birthday Call,” is an absolute must watch, as it ties in nicely with Creep.  It’s 2½ minutes of hilarity.

The “Behind the Scenes Featurette” should be called the “Behind the Scene Featurette” as it is only one scene.  But that’s okay.  It’s 9½  minutes of the rigors of filming the scene.  The Scene.  The Lesbian Zombie Scene.  I think Crewless put this special feature on here just for me.

The offered trailers are War of the Worlds, Jolly Roger, Hide And Creep, Frankenstein and Lethal Eviction.

Grades:
Movie:
Video:
Audio:
Features:
Overall:	– It’s rare when I suggest a purchase over a rental, but this one is a keeper.

Conclusion:

I was fortunate enough to review the screener for Hide and Creep way back in December of 2004 when Crewless was still shopping for a distributor.  The Asylum picked up Creep for distribution, and I didn’t have to change a word in my review because I feel exactly the same then as I do now about the film — I only had to add the goodies.  

Old-school zombies, new-school zombies,  a laugh-out-loud script and quality acting makes this one a fixture in my player.

(Equipment includes a Mitsubishi WS-48613 48” HDTV, Phillips DVP642 DVD player and Onkyo HTS-770 Home Theater System and, in some cases, a Sony 27” WEGA TV and a Cyberhome CH-DVD300 DVD player.)

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